Importance of Community

Yesterday at temple, a family came for what was essentially a baby-naming, except that the child was six years old. The reasons had to do with no Reform Jewish temples where they live in Moscow, Covid, death of the husband... in the end it boiled down to, the mother really felt a huge need to do this in community. Her sister, the child's aunt, is a member at my temple, so they made it happen, and they'll one day be back for the bat mitzvah.

The family is American but live in Russia. I would have thought her community there was enough, but again, they follow the Reform style and didn't want to use one of the Chabad or Orthodox shuls that are left in Moscow. It opened up the idea of community to me, and I've been thinking about that a lot recently in terms of voiceover as well. I was not raised religious, which I'm glad in some regards for, since I got to choose religion and know its importance as an adult, rather than it being forced on me as a kid. However, the community that organized religion brings is definitely something that was lacking in my childhood. I had my friends' parents and my teachers to go to as other adults when needed, and I had my youth orchestra as an outside-normal-school experience and friends... but still I could have benefitted from having a religious community.

The difference between school (and youth orchestra) versus an organized religious community is probably the reasons for being there. At school, you're there until you're not, to learn and get stuff out of it, then leave. At temple or church, you're there for the long haul ideally, coming because you want to (though kids may be coerced), looking for some way to support others and find a higher purpose. Any volunteer effort could fit these criteria too, and there would be other people there too.

As for voiceover community... I was listening to a video by Steven Goard talking about the importance of that, having people to fall back on, get encouragement from, and for yourself to support them as well. He believes that, when you're feeling down, that's a good time to reach out to others and give them the words you'd like to hear, encouraging words, and it will lift you up in giving them. For a long time, yes, I'd attend voiceover events, but I still always felt so alone in this endeavor. I'm starting to finally feel like I belong. I can ask people for help. Maybe I always could have, maybe people actually liked seeing me at their events (even when I felt awkward and imposter). So this is helping me relax, listen, and not feel pressure to prove that I belong there.

I'm asking for friends to listen to my auditions now, have a new accountability partner that's actually working (instead of something that starts then falls off, like has happened times in the past). I'm involved with the VO Dojo, keeping me reaching for and achieving goals and also "working out" with scripts. Having the guidance of others, or others there just to complain to that actually understand what you're going through, it's wonderful.

No, I'm not best friends with everyone. That's not what community is, I'm learning. For a long time, like as a teenager and into 20s, I wondered, "what's the point with surface-level relationships?" People were either my friends or nothing, kept at a distance. I recall an article during the pandemic that talked about peripheral friendships. With the lockdown and stuff, people kept in touch with established friends and family, sure. But they weren't seeing their daily barista, that jogging guy they pass often, etc. And these people are important too, even if we never learn their names. They make up our community. So I started to be more okay with surface-level or peripheral relationships. Thanks, Covid.

Grassroots change and all that has to start at the community level anyway, so another reason why it's good to know people around you. I'm tempted to say something about the ICE raids, them being people from outside the community, knowing nothing about the people here... but I'm not coming up with anything smarter than that. How can I build up community so that people stop being horrible to each other? I guess with simple things like smiling and holding open doors, learning Spanish, buying a new food, going to someone's tiny "ethnic" restaurant to support them... there's all kinds of things.