September Reflection

Start of a new month, almost a new year Jewishly, so time for some reflection. Do I do too many things? Probably. My time is taken up by my 9-5 job, the commutes to and from that job (40 minutes one way), Dungeons and Dragons on two nights, leather class on another night, improv class on yet another, online game night with my sister and her husband on even another. Then I'm fitting in auditions, leather or painting projects at home, reading, sometimes watching movies or shows... it's no wonder that I feel like I can only advance my voiceover career on the weekends. Though I believe that the Dungeons and Dragons (especially Sundays where I'm the DM, doing a variety of accents and voices), the improv, and even the game night (playing Baldur's Gate 3, listening to the performances of the actors there) all help and serve as voiceover practice.

What I get down on myself about is really the fact that I don't make time for marketing. I'm talking about cold emailing. From 2017 to 2020, I was consistent with it, getting work from it. During the pandemic, I let it go. I'm still trying to get back to it regularly today. After getting home from a day of being on the computer emailing people, I find it so hard, such resistance, to go back to the same thing to advance myself. Doing auditions involves the computer too, but it's different and more active, though even that requires some effort to get over the inertia.

Literal reflection happening here.

I'm lucky in that I have an accountability partner now, have had for the last few months. Besides texting each other how many auditions or emails or jobs we did each day, we spend two hours of the weekend working "side by side" through Zoom to get things done. She does a lot more freelance work, such as tutoring kids, where I have the 9-5 job. She is more easily able to do tons of auditions and marketing with more time, and thus I work very hard to not compare myself to her. I know I will not reach the numbers she does because I only have the night. It's an exercise in believing I'm doing the best with what I have. Of course I can try harder to move that "best" even further, like moving the first-down line in football. Besides making, for example, 10-11pm be audition time, I could try to always end that hour, like 10:45-11, with at least one email, spending time on research.

I have a bunch of ideas on content marketing as well, but they all require time for the creation as well. I feel resistance there too. I want to have a series of parody instructional videos, but I want there to be a backlog of like 10 before I start posting. The idea of making 10 videos seems daunting when I think about, how will I film it if I'm supposed to be in it, what lighting, etc. And so, though I've had this idea for like two years, I still haven't acted on it.

Reflection on fear of success, I've probably written about this before. Why do I hold myself back? One reason is probably I'm afraid of having a live-directed session, and a gardener starts up a leaf blower, and I'll have to cancel the session and look unprofessional. My treated closet is good, but it's not able to block out everything... although I hear even the best professional ones have to wait for planes and helicopters sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't care so much. I also have this story of the starving artist that I need to overcome. If I was successful, that image of me would not fit. I do manifestation and affirmation things to see myself now as the successful, full-time voiceover artist I want to be... then I fall off the wagon for a few weeks. I need to get better at the consistent visualizing.

See yourself reaching the goal, then do it.

I'm likely spreading myself thin too by trying to get such disparate types of voiceover work. Right now I'm taking a course on elearning. I still have video games as my top field of choice, but there's also interest in political, commercials, and corporate narration. When it comes to marketing though, it would be easier for me to focus on one area for a month, probably. Once I'm finished with the elearning course, I would like to focus on that and political only. Video games will come on day, and elearning is much easier apparently to get on your own.

Supposedly I need to reevaluate what makes me unique and what value I bring, another thing that's been hard for me. Like all voiceover people can offer 24-48 hour turnaround, clear communication, and care with the script, right? And there's other women with medium-low voices; flat, millennial, Aubrey Plaza way of speaking; and pleasant to work with, right? So what makes me stand out? People say to bring up your background... how do I make my childhood of moving across country, love of fantasy and sci-fi, and other random things like being a twin work for me in corporate narration marketing? I guess I can just focus on what I think is value, like my organizational skills, communication, attention to detail... and not worry if other people possess these things too. What makes me unique though? It's the activities I do, like Chevra Kaddisha work... but again, what bearing does that have on voiceover performance? All that matters to the client is my performance and communication....

So to end this reflection session, I need desperately to get back to email marketing and LinkedIn messaging. I need to just do things without fear of bothering people. I can define myself again in what I think is unique and valuable, even if I believe it's not actually unique. Over and over, I tell my 9-5 boss anyone can do my job of organizing and spreadsheets, but he consistently says no, not anyone can.... so maybe the things I don't think are unique about me in voiceover actually are. Well, it's all I can hope for.