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  • Writer's pictureJordan Drayer

Endurance for Living


Netzach of Netzach


Hi everyone, Jordan Drayer, the savvy millennial voice actress, often described by others as disciplined and hard-working for a reason. Today is three weeks and four days of the Omer. If you want to know more about the Omer and how it works, check out the links in the description.


Netzach of Netzach, the endurance of endurance, looking at the expression and intensity of it. All of these questions from Chabad.org are amazing, and I'm just going to give my answers as you think of yours. "Are you inconsistent and unreliable?" No. I certainly give up on friends who are flaky and not good at texting back when planning get-togethers. If I simply don't feel like going from the start, I do not commit. I'm not going to be that last minute "I don't feel like it anymore" person.


When people do that to me, I feel it's like they're saying "I don't like you enough to hang out with you," and thus I take it personally. Of course this is a flaw of mine I'm working on overcoming, but I wish they had just never said "yes" in the first place. If they have a good reason like they're now sick, that's different. People know me for being consistent, loyal, and reliable.


"Are you afraid of committing to something or being trapped by that, such as a job or relationship?" Relationship, yes, I'm afraid of committing. I'm somehow afraid of ending up with the wrong man, like one who will be boring and unattractive to me. Even projects and jobs a little bit but less so. Like I'm in the process of signing up to volunteer at the animal shelter, and I felt a sense of "what if this takes up all my weekends?" But then I reminded myself, I'm a volunteer! And they only ask that you do at least six hours a month! I need to work on reminding myself I can always back out of a relationship, even a marriage, if absolutely necessary, and whoever I fall in love with will be a great guy simply by the fact that I fell for him.


Other questions: "Have I developed a capacity for endurance of unhealthy experiences? Do I endure more pain than pleasure?" The first relates to substance abuse and domestic abuse for sure, and if you've developed a capacity for that, I wish you luck in overcoming it. More pain than pleasure, again, I wish you luck. That was me for a long time, with people pleasing, doing extra job and house work so there'd be no reason to be punished, and anticipating others' emotions so that I knew I'd be safe. Finally, "do you underestimate your capacity to endure?" I think of people exercising or giving up trying new things after only a few tries.

Keep trying 'til something sticks


The exercise for today is to commit to developing a new good habit. Two days ago was about breaking a bad habit, so maybe put this good one in its place. Instead of biting your nails, paint them. Instead of swearing a lot, go out of your way to find more interesting words to insult people with. Listen to how English people insult each other. Instead of letting the trash overflow before taking it outside, choose a day or two to always take it out, then reward yourself with chocolate or something.


Good luck. I reward you for making it this far. Please like and share, and I'll see you tomorrow.

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