Passover Themes

Passover is coming soon, with its themes of slavery, freedom, and redemption. I find it to be a fun holiday, since I've been lucky to only have good experiences with it, social time, games, the lot. Other people like to run through the Haggadah as fast as they can, finding that stuff boring and only getting to the meal. I believe that misses the whole point; why not just have a family dinner then without the symbolism? Other people (I saw on Reddit) have left Judaism due to this holiday, where you're supposed to revel in freedom while others in the world are still so much not free. It can be hard to hold opposing views or emotions in one moment, though this is actually something Judaism acknowledges.

Yes, I hate how it's written that "God hardened Pharaoh's heart" every time Pharaoh was on the verge of letting them go, basically causing Pharaoh to be evil just so that God could get the people out. It's a fictional story, sure, but it makes me so angry that Pharaoh didn't have any agency over his own feelings. Is God supposed to be a metaphor for hate in this case? Pity started to happen, then hate took over? That's not a great image for the rest of the Torah/Bible.

There's a lot to not like about Passover, just like any holiday. July 4th comes to mind. Why even celebrate America anymore with the fascist direction it's going? But then I also celebrate what it could still be, with hope and optimism, and what it has been, like with amazing inventions and good points in history. So I choose to enjoy Passover for the social, reflective time that it gives us.

Matzah ball soup is the best

In Hebrew, the word for Egypt (Mitzrayim) translates to "narrow place." Maybe back then the whole of the populated country existed along the Nile River, thus a narrow country? Anyway, they use this all the time in symbolism to talk about coming out of a narrow state of mind into a more open one ("the Promised Land"). What's some narrow place you want to escape this year? For me, it's the survival job mindset I've had. Ever since 2015, I've only taken jobs that I believed would just be the rent-payers until voiceover took over full-time. I've gone from closed captioning, to teaching, to ice cream place, to now working at a Hebrew school. Yes, these have been interesting jobs and I had a hand in choosing them. But here I am ten years later, still only part-time in voiceover, and I'm tired of my rent-paying job not working for me.

While I can put up with it, in a way, none of these jobs have done anything for me beyond give me money (although I've gotten great friends from the current one). What I want now is a job that will do more for me. If I'm going to be an administrative assistant, why not work in a film, video game, or voiceover studio where I can make connections on a daily basis towards my voiceover career? Why not find something higher paying that will allow me to get back into acting classes, or something that is closer so that I don't spend as much on gas and time commuting? Or find something hybrid to allow me to do more voiceover stuff during the day?

So that's one narrow place I wish to leave. I hope also to leave the mindset I've had about finding a romantic partner, but that may be harder. I want someone to basically replace my twin the way she's replaced me with her husband (sort of joking but not really!). People say that even a lover can't be everything, and of course I'll always have my friends, but I do want to get as close as possible to a twin replacement. However, I guess I have to change this narrow mindset and allow the man to be something more like a roommate with benefits, to make sure he can live his own life. I need to learn how to just let men be friends too, instead of "husband potential" or not even worth talking to, allow for an in-between friend.

Enough reflection, now celebrate!

Passover is a time to celebrate what you have escaped too though, not just thinking about what you want to escape. This year, I escaped a failing Dungeons and Dragons game, pushed for our mini-campaign to become the new one, and got my wish. That's a silly example, but it does bring me so much joy. I escaped the idea that I'm not allowed to spend on voiceover classes until I've cleared my debt; I'm forging ahead with the classes now and believing that my debt will be gone very soon with a high-paying national commercial.

I wonder if it takes some maturity to hold two conflicting emotions at once. If you can't both celebrate your own freedom and feel sad for those who don't have it yet... what does that make you? To me it seems like you don't know how to allow good things for yourself. Going back to July 4th, American Independence Day, same idea - if you can't feel sad for what's happening in America and also glad for where we are (better equality and rights for groups than in the 1700s), then it seems like you're missing an important perspective. Yes, one emotion may be stronger than the other, and that's fine. I'd say use the hope to fuel a desire to change the sad things.