Here I am continuing my existential, philosophical musings, this time riffing off of a comment I read recently on Reddit, the idea of there being only one path, no wrong path or right path in life. The original question, asked by user Creative-Anteater-53 on the Awakened sub-Reddit, posed, "What are the signs that you are on the right path in your current life?" The answer that resonated with me most was from user Diced-sufferable saying, "You have the understanding it's impossible to be on the wrong path." They later elaborated, "You can only ever be on the path you're capable of walking. It's all stepping stones related to prior stones. You're always on the right path. Sometimes it appears as though you think you're on the wrong path and see where (and why) you can change direction. All part of the path that is too." Their solution is, "Set the intention to be as honest as possible, and know that you can't mess it up because life will use everything in your favour."
One, I do love Reddit. I know some people say it's trash, but I find people to overall be intelligent in their responses, and some are very informed depending on the group. Two, I had never seen this sub-Reddit before but was asking a similar question to the first user, so it appeared to me in search results.
The idea of capability reminds me of 12-step groups and general educational tendencies. The natural boxes of education in any sense are something like "I am unconscious and incapable," moving to "I am conscious but incapable," moving to "I am conscious and capable," finally moving to "I am unconscious and capable." I learned this for the first time in music school from, I believe, the clarinet professor, Deborah Bish. I'll explain this phenomenon in a simple way.
I never knew anything about bicycles until I see you riding a bicycle. I didn't know there was such a thing as a bicycle and that humans could go faster with one - unconscious and incapable. You explain to me how to ride it and demonstrate where your feet go and stuff. I'm now conscious but incapable, since I haven't tried it myself. I start learning it, and for awhile I remain incapable, until one day I get that balance right - I'm now conscious of what I'm doing and capable of doing it. For the first few weeks though, I have to continue concentrating on what I'm doing so I don't fall. At some point maybe a few months in, it becomes so second nature that I just hop on the bike and go - I'm now unconscious of what it took to mount and balance, and yet capable of riding.
One question that I raise for myself with the idea of no wrong path is if there are really no mistakes. If a person became a drug addict for years, family disowning them and everything, is that a necessary part of their path? Apparently yes, they had to learn "the hard way," and maybe they help other people with their story and prevent others from going as far down into the depths as they did because of it. If we say no, it was a mistake, that wasn't supposed to happen... well even then, it's in the past. It did happen and now we have to deal with it.
A silly example, when I was in 1st grade and it was St. Patrick's Day, me wearing all my green, I told a boy (who I considered a friend, though he was more an acquaintance) I was even wearing green underwear. He turned right around and yelled it out to the class. So was it a mistake to have told him? One might say yes, but how was I supposed to know? Again, unconscious - I believed he'd keep it a secret because he was a friend, and it's understood even as 6-year-olds usually that underwear is a private thing. So I learned to not trust just anyone with certain information. We have to make mistakes in order to learn; they are necessary, although the example of the drug addict is a drastic one.
So if there is no wrong path, then any time I'm not productive with my art projects and voiceover work, instead choosing to play video games or watch movies... that must be necessary. I'll eventually get so mad at myself that I will finally be productive. Or it may bring me to a reckoning of "why am I even working on this" or find ways to simplify the birthday present art project, create a schedule to get it done, who knows.
The idea of no wrong path gets dangerously close to "everything is fated" and like you have no free will, like nothing you do really matters. First, we know people from childhood to adulthood thrive on schedules and set rules (kids become depressed and angry when they don't have loving structure). Creative "freedom" often happens inside limits, like the size of the canvas, a time limit, or by how the characters tell you what they would do. So maybe it's not such a bad thing to think that our paths are laid out for us already. However, we still get to discover them and choose what to do next; it's not like we're following written instructions. If I feel like getting ice cream this day (and maybe there's some fated event tied to it), I still get to choose the ice cream shop; maybe I go to one very far away from my house for the pleasure of driving somewhere new.
So tying this back to voiceover, as this is a voiceover website... I need to believe I'm on the only path meant for me; it's not right or wrong. If I don't do enough auditions in a week, or I only email one new person, then eventually the lack of progress will either push me to try harder when I have more time or to give up. If all the signs point to "you weren't meant for this," one day I'll be conscious enough to read them. At the moment, I still see signs of "you can do this," a simple example from this week being a friend (who I haven't heard from in awhile) texting me a new person to send a demo to. People are looking out for me.
A lot of it too relates to my current situation in life. In my earlier years in Los Angeles (before the pandemic), I had less of a commute, was able to do marketing in the morning, and had less nightly activities (now I have leather, DnD, and such - nighttime after work is when I do auditions, also because it's quieter outside). Now I have a long commute (working on changing that), different classes and social things that I also love (but take away time and energy from auditioning), and less time in the morning for marketing, let alone exercise. I can choose to let some activities go and wake up earlier; but the other activities are important to me too, and I value sleep more than money. I already stay up late doing auditions sometimes, so why lose any more sleep hours? My brother-in-law suggested doing marketing some weeks and auditions other weeks, which I'm still working on establishing as a routine.
One day things will change, and I'll have more time for voiceover. In the meantime, I do what I'm capable of doing with the time and energy I have. This must be a part of my path, learning how to devote time to it no matter what, even with limited resources. So there is no wrong path, only what I'm capable of doing with my current situation. The user said to be honest. There are times when I would rather draw and do artwork than do voiceover, and there are times when I know I have to do auditions. Once I'm in the flow, I seek out other auditions from the pay-to-play sites. Being honest means knowing when you're purposefully procrastinating as well; I must learn to do the thing I'm avoiding before doing the other thing (for example, sometimes I'll clean the entire house before doing auditions). Overcoming fear of success must be a huge part of my path haha; it's the main reason I procrastinate.
So let's end this article. There is only one path; there is no wrong path. My procrastination is not "wrong," but it is a stumbling block to overcome before I can get to the full-time voiceover career I desire. I'm only capable of doing what I can in the current life situation though too, meaning the time and energy that's left to me after removing sleep, work, commute, and my other activities and projects. Everything is a learning opportunity.
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