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  • Writer's pictureJordan Drayer

Yom Kippur Reflections

Yom Kippur 2022 (or 5783) is finished. There's a lot of life-and-death messages, choose life, talking about the Book of Lives Well Lived, etc. So of course it gets you to wondering. Am I living well enough? Am I actually living or just surviving? Could I be doing more or better? I guess the answer to that last one is always yes, if you want to continually grow and improve, although sometimes you do need to step back and do less.

This is a thoughtful time of year in general. As of October 1, I've lived in Los Angeles for four years now (though 7 months of that was in France). And barely a week ago I moved to a new house after four years in the first. Have I made progress in voiceover? Yes, though not as much as I'd hoped for at this point, but I am progressing, meeting people, and making connections and money.

But as far as progress in life and living, definitely. I have friends now, I know my way around. I'm building friendships in the communities of voiceover, Jewish life, Sigma Alpha Iota Pasadena Alumnae Chapter and becoming known. I came here very unsure and still quite angry at my parents. Now I've gone through more therapy, feel more confident and that my talents are worth exhibiting, and have forgiven my parents (though it's still hard to find what to talk about sometimes with them besides the cats).

Am I doing enough? No, I can always do more voiceover marketing and auditioning. This new, quieter house will help. But I've also been thinking, is voiceover what I really want? Among other things, I consider flight attendant and rabbi. Could I do these with voiceover, as I do with my administrative assistant job now? I know I'm not ready to quit voiceover because I feel I haven't made back the investment of time and money training and making demos to do that yet! I have to believe in myself more.

But after that, why not change careers? I get so excited for how much life there is (provided I'm lucky and "normal") when I talk to older people and learn all the jobs and places they've done and lived in. Someone will say, "I was a pilot for 20 years, and now I do voiceover," for instance. I'm only 31 right now, so saying I've done anything for 20 years, I haven't even been able to legally work that long yet, if we say 16 to 36.

I also think about my family and how I'd like to be nearer them and building relationships again, but then Dallas is such a boring geographic-wise city. What is there to do? Just White Rock Lake and the museums over and over. LA seems to offer countless museums and nature places. But then again, with board games and good friends, I'm easy to please, but "good friends" only happen after you've lived somewhere for some time, so the first two years could be lonely and boring, and I'm impatient. I want to be to the good friends stage right away!

Anyway, lots of questions, and they do say Judaism is a religion of questions more than answers. I resolve to not wallow in my single-ness, to not be jealous of other actors, and to not fear anyone's anger. I plan to learn Torah chanting, get more regular about voiceover marketing (especially with my new political demo and this current season), and pray that my friend Dalia can move here and be my roommate, haha.

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