YouTube video: https://youtu.be/ICFcQrw479c
Malchut of Gevurah
Hi everyone, Jordan Drayer, the savvy millennial voice actress whose discipline is a thing of nobility. Today is one week and seven days of the Omer. And you can do a noble act by liking and sharing this with your entourage.
We've reached the final day of the week of Gevurah, looking at its Malchut aspect, again meaning sovereignty or nobility. Chabad.org puts it better than I can. "Discipline, like love, must enhance personal dignity. Discipline that breaks a person will backfire. Healthy discipline should bolster self-esteem and help elicit the best in a person; cultivating his sovereignty. And that does not compromise the discipline; on the contrary it fosters and enhances it."
Discipling your kid for normal childish things, like saying, "stop crying," "don't be loud," or "don't be such a scaredy-cat" are the kinds of things that will cause them to withdraw and develop a lack of self-esteem. I am still redeveloping self-esteem and emotions to this day. Making these videos is helping.
You want your kid or whoever you're disciplining, maybe an underling employee, to grow from the experience, not hate you or fear you. I truly believe this is why giving a reason for the discipline is so important. If it's an employee who's always late, maybe start with, "I'm concerned about your tardiness. Is there anything I can do to help? When you're consistently late, it hurts the rest of the team in this way." Or to a roommate always playing loud music, "I'd appreciate it if you played your music lower or listened with headphones. It's distracting to me and I can't get work done." Maybe you can ask if there's anything you can change that annoys them.
Honestly though, I can feel myself tensing up just saying these things, because I have such a fear of confrontation, another side-effect of my growing up with low self-esteem. I hope you find a way to talk to people or fight through fear to talk to people and get what you need while still making them feel respected. I go over it in my head and on paper before confronting people, then while talking to them, concentrate on speaking evenly, as if not scared. Using the "I" language helps a ton too in them not feeling attacked.
As for discipling yourself, I'd say a healthy balance of work and play. Remember to play and breathe and don't beat yourself up for being tired or cheating on your diet or something. I used to think there was something wrong with me in high school when all my friends had like three or four extracurriculars and I only had band. But that I know now is just society's putting on a pedestal busyness and tiredness. So treat yourself well and perhaps be more disciplined in scheduling fun, "bored" time or naps if you need it!
Thank you so much for making it through two weeks with me! I appreciate your discipline. Tomorrow we start on a brand new week all about Tiferet, balance and compassion. Make sure you foster self-respect in your discipline or punishment today, and see you next time!
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