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  • Writer's pictureJordan Drayer

Humility in Love

To see the YouTube version, go here: https://youtu.be/rgzFvpU828c


Hod of Chesed


Hi everyone, Jordan Drayer, your humble savvy millennial voice actress. Today is the fifth day of the Omer. If you want to know more about the Omer and how it works, check out the links in the description.

Our focus today is Hod of Chesed, the humility of loving-kindness. This is the kind of submission before God humility, that there's a greater power than us, not really the humility of talking down your talents or living in a sparsely furnished home.

With Netzach, the one about endurance and intellect, we have Hod as the other leg, being more emotional. Just like Tiferet balances Gevurah and Chesed, it also balances Netzach and Hod; the arms and legs all attached to the torso.


It's said in Judaism (look up Martin Buber's I-Thou) that in every relationship, there's actually three figures: the two creatures and God in between. Our power to love and create comes from God, and God brings people together. If this is too religious speak for you, then I'd say at least be grateful you can feel love compared to an amoeba, which just reproduces and lives without much thought.


Chabad.org says, "Hod introduces the aspect of humility in love; the ability to rise above yourself and forgive or give in to the one you love just for the sake of love even if you're convinced that you're right." In some cases, there's a need to be right, like when you have to know whether to turn or go straight, whether the concert is on Friday or Saturday. In others, not so much.

I value my friendships. Recently I annoyed my friend in correcting a fact. We were watching "Bridgerton," a character was disguising herself, and my friend said she was speaking in a Scottish accent. From my time studying accents for acting, I said it was Irish. I thought I was being helpful and had done it in a joking manner, as she had. Now, I like being corrected, but I guess she doesn't. I later annoyed her again by correcting a shared memory, saying it was a train, not a bus we were trying to catch. To me it makes a big difference, but to her I guess not.


If I want the relationship to endure, I'll need to abide by her truth when interacting with her. To me, it's good to have all facts straight, and I also have an amazing memory. But to her, it seems little details are not so important. So instead of correcting her in the future, I'll hold my tongue. Yes, this might limit our relationship, as I feel I can't be my full self, but being humble is holding yourself back a bit.


Do you have anything you need to swallow your pride for? Any recent arguments? Maybe you were right, but being right is not always what's needed to further love. Maybe do the How to Win Friends and Influence People thing of suggesting to someone an idea, then letting them think it was their idea; don't ever hint that it was you all along.

Once again, love is not easy, but it's nice to make others happy, isn't it? Food for thought. See you next time.

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