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  • Writer's pictureJordan Drayer

Struggle of Freelancing (and being a woman/introvert)

Real talk. I went to a voiceover meetup last night. It's great on one hand because I get to learn what other people are doing to get jobs and agents, and I'm making friendships. But I also felt some negative emotions. I felt lonely because I'm socially anxious I guess, and I see people crying out with joy happy to see each other, but only a few people did that for me. But I've got to remember, there's a lot more of "them" and only one of me! Maybe other people felt sad they weren't being loved on. And this seems like a lot of self-pity, but I'm writing what came up.


I felt sad as well, with a perception that everyone else is booking, rich, etc. Sad like I don't belong there. To break this down, this is imposter syndrome and also it happened to be PMS for me. I get sad and existential at this time, and I tell myself, "these aren't my real thoughts! It's just chemicals." But from other articles I've read, they then get into "what is self" and all that stuff, and I have to accept that these sad feelings for a whole week once a month are also me.



Finally, I felt like I didn't want to be there. I am making great friends in other areas of my life that are not voiceover. These people I see like once every two months or less; they are not friends but acquaintances. I eventually did settle into a good conversation about life and more with a table of five. It's always that initial I arrive at the party, see no one I know, then immediately want to leave. Maybe this is an introvert quality and another social anxiety fear. But hey, on Friday I went to a board game meetup and knew no one and had a wonderful time, so it is possible to like strangers.





So what am I going to do? I can't quit voiceover because I've invested too much. I need to be around these people more so I get to know them and can recommend them for stuff and them me hopefully. I'm getting into one new VO workout group on Sundays and know of another to do on Thursdays. I need to confidently make the content marketing I wrote down that I would do, such as funny videos and of course more blogs.



One thing is I need to get back to my "good old days," which was about 5th grade to 8th grade, recording books with friends, writing stories together, and playing music together. So I need to find ways to do this with voiceover and friends, such as podcast radio plays, narrating friends' videos, finding stuff we can actually collaborate on and have fun. If I'm just making stuff for fun, I believe the work and money will follow.


Wish me luck! Plesae comment if you relate to these struggles.


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